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Friday, May 23, 2008

To sleepover or not to sleepover?

Tonight Bennett went to spend the night at someones (I wont name names) house, and I didn't even know about it! I sent him with his Grandpa and some cousins to a roping that Jason was in for the evening, but had expected him to come home. Around eleven o'clock I was getting a little worried when I got a phone call from Jason saying he was going to spend the night. I was so mad!! I have a rule about sleepovers, which is no sleepovers! To many bad things happen to kids at sleepovers and I want to protect my kids. The thing is you can't trust anyone when it comes to this issue. (child abuse) If people who hurt kids went around with it tattooed on their forehead it would be a different story, but the sad thing is, it is usually the one person you would never think would do it, who hurts your child. I hate having to be this way, and sometimes feel like my kids are missing out on a childhood right of passage, but how else do you protect them from those sick individuals who hurt kids! Jason thinks I am way to over protective, and we don't see eye to eye on this issue at all. I have seen first hand what abuse can do to a child and I don't want my kids to have to go through that kind of pain. Am I wrong about this? Should I let them have sleepovers? I would love some advice on this subject, please! I made Jason go pick Bennett up tonight, even though it was almost midnight before he got there. He was so mad at me for this. The thing is, I have made myself perfectly clear on this issue and the fact that I wasn't even consulted about it makes me irate! I think we are going to have to agree to disagree on this. I don't think I will be changing my mind any time soon.

9 comments:

Cecily R said...

We don't do sleepovers either unless its with family or REALLY close family friends. And I can barely deal with those. Its sad really because I have so many great memories of staying the night with friends...

We do "Late Nights" instead. The kids come over, they watch movies and play video games and eat junk and then about 11 or so, parents come and pick them up. It works famously!!

Brittany said...

No sleepovers here, except at MY parent's house. If we lived around my family I would let them sleep at ONE of my brother's houses (not at one of my other brother's) to be with their cousins. Other than that, NOPE! I'm with you. Don't give in. When it comes down to it, YOU are responsible for your kids. Better safe than sorry!

Yumi said...

You know, I grew up sleeping over at friends all the time. But honestly, we're totally in different times! My friend said her daughter spent the night at a member's house & they had a non-member uncle staying there...watching an inappropriate movie in the next room. Even if there's no "abuse", you just can't guard your kids from negative exposure either!
Our girls are too young for sleepovers, but I'm absolutely against them. You just never know-and can't be too careful these days.

Emily said...

I have the same stand as you for the same reasons & our kids won't ever do sleepovers & thankfully Jed has never argued with me about it. (Not that Ava's ever been invited anywhere, but it is something we've talked about amd decided on a long time ago.) Just so you know you are not alone & Jed & I feel the same way as you on the issue.

Leslie said...

We don't do sleepovers. I agree that you can't be too cautious, especially when it comes to your kids. Way to stick to your guns!

lydia moyer said...

you definately need to stick to your gut feeling. it's sad that you don't have anyone that you can trustenough. i have a few of my closest friends that we do sleepovers with and it really is fun for the kids. but if your gut is telling you something then follow it. i think women are sometimes a little more in-tune with the Spirit when it comes to our kids.

Stacy Stoddard said...

Sorry Jason I agree with your wife!! I did to many stupid, and crazy things during sleepovers. I sound like an old man, but I read an article in the Ensign about being cautious about sleepovers for the very reasons your wife is freaked out about them. I remember some of the crap that Robert and Ron would do when we slept over at your house growing up. Is it really that big of a deal not to sleepover? Is the risk greater than the reward? In the end follow the spirit, and I really like the first comment by cecilyr about having "late-nights". This rule protects everyone, even the inocent, if a child cries wolf. I hope you guys can come to agreement on it.

have a good one, Neal

tiarastantrums said...

Bravo! I would have done the EXACT same thing!! NO SLEEPOVERS ALLOWED IN MY HOUSE EITHER!!! I will let my brother's son (nephew/cousine) stay here, not often, and I am not comfortable with it and it will likely stop soon. But my children NEVER will sleep anywhere!!! Not even relatives! Ever!! I don't care if my children hate me to the ends of the earth. I will never allow sleepovers. I LOVE Cecily's "Late Night" deal!! But, still not too sure. I don't even let my children go to a playdate without me or hubbie! Granted, my kids are still young, but I don't see this changing anytime soon! GOOD FOR YOU!!!! Too many crazies and weirdos, and kooks and sickos out there!!! My brother told me that I have lived in the city too long!!! We grew up in very rural area, but Itold him it happens there as well and never get too comfortable with anyone and never stop parenting!

jenn w said...

You have every right to be irate! You werent informed and you're the MOM. Mother knows best, right? (sorry jason) Of course I wont be to the sleepover age for several years, but I already dont think I want my son sleeping over anywhere!! (except CLOSE family)even when he's 16! ;) Dont back down at all.